


she'll lay belief on you

by princegrantaire



Category: The Libertines
Genre: Alternate Universe - Always a Different Sex, F/F, First Meetings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-22
Updated: 2016-05-22
Packaged: 2018-06-10 01:28:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6932335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princegrantaire/pseuds/princegrantaire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Despite what Ashley’s numerous questions about Pete might lead one to believe, she’s not <i>particularly<i> interested in Pete herself but much more fascinated by the off chance of meeting a kindred spirit, something she’s always longed for.</i></i></p>
            </blockquote>





	she'll lay belief on you

**Author's Note:**

> a photoset with a potential cast can be found [here](http://actualcarlbarat.tumblr.com/post/144762019748/shell-lay-belief-on-you-featuring-annalisa)

Ashley has never met a girl like Pete. Scratch that. She’s never met _anyone_ like Pete. Pete seems to live squeezed between a series of contradictions, somewhere between reality and that certain place when you’re just starting to drift off to sleep.

Pete calls that place _Arcadia_ and she alone seems to live in there. “ _Divinely decadent_ ” is what she’d described herself as once during those first few hours they’d spend together; it’s no doubt one of those quotes Pete tends to nick from the books she’s constantly reading, sprinkled between her usual phrases and slightly mad rambles about dreams.

Ashley has seen her exactly three times, the longest of those meetings being the first one, but she already feels like she knows everything there is to know about Pete (whose given name is _Petra_ or something along those lines, nothing that fits her in the slightest). It’s not that Pete is exactly transparent, although she does have a very expressive face, but she’s so horribly talkative and animated that even Ashley, who spends half her life avoiding eye contact with most people she meets, manages to at least figure out the essentials.

She only met Pete through Amy-Jo, her roommate at Brunel University and partner in crime till Pete showed up. Amy-Jo has the huge Bambi eyes shared by all three Doherty sisters (Ashley hasn’t personally met Emily, the youngest, but she considers herself sufficiently imaginative) and seems to be near identical to Pete, sans the latter’s impressive height and short, wild hair. The most jarring difference between the two is often the enthusiasm that practically exudes from Pete but then again, that’s the most jarring difference between Pete and most people Ashley knows.

Despite what Ashley’s numerous questions about Pete might lead one to believe, she’s not _particularly_ interested in Pete herself but much more fascinated by the off chance of meeting a kindred spirit, something she’s always longed for.

Ashley had come to university with high hopes of a new life away from the miserable, little hippy commune she’d grown up in, away from knitted sweaters and bright red wellies. She had dreamed of being part of a close knit group of terribly fascinating people who did nothing but drink tea and discuss pretentious literature and _objets d'art_ all day. She had, in fact, met that exact type of people only to abandon them in favour of getting drunk at 9 AM on a Monday with Amy-Jo. A noble pursuit all in all but one that did little to alleviate her hopeless need for understanding, the kind Amy-Jo couldn’t offer.

As it turned out, the kind of people Ashley dreamed of meeting were tragically boring, not through any fault of their own save for the fact that they simply lacked _passion_. It was while she was still recovering from the utter disappointment that university turned out to be (and trying to come to terms with her own lack of talent in the acting department, a fault she was all too aware of) that Pete came to visit her sister in London and stumbled upon Ashley yelling at the TV in their shared rooms. It had been a match made in heaven from the very start (more or less, as Pete had been wearing a really despairing little coat, something neon yellow and made out of plastic that offended any sensibilities Ashley still had).

Pete, barely eighteen, sweet-faced in a way Ashley had never been and tall enough to block whatever light was coming through the window, had exclaimed “You must be Ashley!” and the sheer volume of her voice had instantly classified her as a nuisance in Ashley’s hungover mind.

Despite that, it quickly turned out Pete had a very peculiar way of making someone warm up to her. Somewhere between talking on and on and on about just how “ _fucking ecstatic_ ” she was to be in London and begging Ashley to teach her to play guitar when she happened to glance at her battered acoustic resting against the sofa, Ashley simply found herself becoming quite fond of this odd girl who didn’t seem to fit anywhere in particular.

-

Ashley is getting ready for a potential fourth meeting when disaster strikes. Pete hasn’t left a phone number (in fact, the only time she’s expressed any desire to keep in touch was when she hinted at her oh-so-secret desire of having a pen-pal and Ashley had turned away in disgust at the sheer concept of _writing letters_ ) so their only means of communication has been through Amy-Jo but Ashley’s been able to piece together enough of Amy-Jo’s somewhat drunken mumbles from last night to understand that Pete might be visiting sometime next week. An odd sort of excitement (or nervousness?) seems to have taken permanent residence in her body since then, it makes her feel electric.

That seems to be the only explanation as to _why_ exactly Ashley accepts a haircut from Amy-Jo, of all people, during another one of their nightly escapades. She ends up with some kind of mutated mullet for her troubles and a perfectly legitimate reason to spend the entire night yelling incoherently (not that Ashley’s ever been known for sounding particularly coherent, her acting teacher had once described her as sounding “a bit like a female Joe Strummer choking on bees”).

What Ashley needs to do is invest in hats, that much is apparent even to Amy-Jo, who should probably be arrested for her misdeeds, but what Ashley _can’t_ do under any circumstances is leave the house like this to buy hats. They live far too close to their university to risk something like that. So while Amy-Jo goes out to find a suitable hat, she decides to try her hand at fixing the disaster that’s currently her hair (in the bathroom sink, with dull scissors, as one does).

That’s, of course, the most opportune moment for Pete to walk in. Pete, who is unfortunately clever enough to figure out where they hide their spare key, spends a few short seconds walking aimlessly around the flat before knocking on the bathroom door and then simply walking in when there’s no answer.

Ashley stares at Pete and Pete stares at Ashley. A kettle whistles somewhere in the background and it occurs to Ashley that she must have forgotten about the tea again. Neither of them moves.

At Pete’s criminally wide eyes, Ashley dares a glance in the mirror and promptly drops the scissors. She’s certainly managed to even out her hair; she’d even congratulate herself considering just how bad those scissors had been if it wasn’t for the fact that she’s now the proud owner of a pixie cut.

“Not one word!” she says, picking up the scissors again and pointing them in what she hopes to be a threatening manner at Pete.

“It’s really quite romantic!” Pete yells after Ashley, who has started stomping her way towards the kitchen, and hopes she understands that it’s meant to be romantic with a capital R.

The kitchen is much too cramped for both of them, Ashley is still leaving hair clippings everywhere and she looks _furious_ , simultaneously ready to burst into tears and a pick a fight with the nearest bystander.

“Romantic is what I call dinner and a movie, not fucking up my hair,” Ashley says, angrily shoving a cup of tea in Pete’s hands. She’s obviously got no time for Pete’s musings about “ _the importance of doing everything as aesthetically as possible_ ” and how cutting one’s hair in the bathroom sink on a whim is exactly the kind of thing Pete’s mad, wild heroes would do.

Pete watches in silent amazement as Ashley makes her way back to the bathroom, starts the shower and then slams the door in Pete’s face. Ashley’s sullen and shy at the best of times but Pete’s never considered the possibility of her being prone to violence, no matter how often Amy-Jo talks of “Ashley’s moods”.  She’s much too excited about the whole thing and can only think of scribbling in her journal about it when she gets back home, thinks of the potential start of a partnership the likes of which the world’s never seen before.

-

“What did _you_ do to her?” Amy-Jo asks when she’s back, carrying two admittedly hideous hats. As if Pete is somehow responsible for Ashley locking herself in the bathroom.

-

Two hours later, Amy-Jo coaxes Ashley out with promises of cold beer and a Pete-less flat. The offer is surprisingly effective but all the fight seems to have been showered out of her anyway by the time she crumples into a ball on the sofa. Pete’s been sent out for the evening, to her utter delight since she still hasn’t gotten over the initial glamour of London, and Ashley’s problems are to be discussed in depth, which amounts to Amy-Jo assuring her over and over again that a pixie cut isn’t the end of the world.

Ashley can’t help wondering whether she’s destroyed her chances at a friendship with Pete, whether she’s realized Ashley’s a bit odd, a bit off-key sometimes and for all her faults, the redeeming qualities are few and far between.

-

Pete’s singing “ _spending warm summer days indoors_ ” and idly strumming an out of tune guitar when Ashley gets home. It’s a breath of fresh air in an apartment that’s seen better days and Ashley’s relieved to see that Pete’s decided to stick around even after the outburst from yesterday.

“You’re an odd egg, Ashley Carl Raphael Barât,” Pete says suddenly as Ashley starts walking towards her room. She stops in her tracks and cringes at the use of her full name (her middle names have haunted her for decades, _Carl Raphael_ will hardly ever be names for an _actress_ ).

“A strange duck,” Pete continues and after a pause adds, “A peculiar parsnip.”

Now that’s something Ashley’s never been called before. It shocks her enough to make her sit down next to Pete, silently waiting for an explanation. Pete just wordlessly hands her the battered guitar.

“Yours?” Ashley asks, feeling a bit stupid for wondering whether she should offer to tune it. She supposes it’s the least she can do after she practically kicked Pete out of her sister’s apartment, even if she’d just called her a “ _peculiar parsnip_ ”.

“Not officially,” Pete replies and her smile practically dares Ashley to ask more questions. “Can you teach me to play?”

It’s the second time Pete’s asked her that but Ashley feels significantly more inclined to agree this time around. It feels like the beginning of something, though she can’t quite put her finger on _what_ exactly. Things always seem to be like that with Pete, who seems to live permanently on the verge of something happening, never quite certain what but often the cause of it.

Pete squeals and hugs Ashley tightly when she agrees to teach her to play guitar. Pete’s tactile nature surprises her every time they touch and even though she’s grown around quite an affectionate group of people, free love and all that, it’s never come naturally to Ashley, whose mind needlessly insists every touch must have some deep meaning.

-

It’s only that night, when Ashley’s lying in her own bed for a change and not going out with Amy-Jo for the first time in weeks, that she allows herself to think about one of Pete’s offhand little comments, the one about starting a band. They couldn’t. Pete’s not even out of school yet, Ashley can barely sing and more importantly, they’re _girls_. They could never attain the kind of fame Ashley fleetingly dreamed of.

A part of her knows Pete is the kind of person who’s bound to be on top of the world at one point or another, whether someone like Ashley could ever join her is a different matter altogether. Her dreams of being an actress are bound to die but a singer? It seems equally more attainable and doomed from the start, she doesn’t think the world’s ever going to allow her to be on a stage.

-

Amy-Jo has a date the next day and Ashley is tasked with entertaining (also known as babysitting) Pete on her last day in London. Her protests are only for show and even so, she’s sure both Doherty sisters have figured out she’s starting to become worryingly fond of Pete.

When they go out Pete insists they hold hands (because “that’s what _best friends_ do, Ashley!”) then runs off at every distraction, ranging from helping old ladies cross the street to chasing pigeons to suddenly and inexplicably holding three _Oasis_ records that she makes Ashley hide in her bag. Keeping up with Pete’s long strides and even longer legs proves to be practically impossible for Ashley and at some point near the evening they finally decide to take a break in a pub (although Ashley has to stir Pete away from two others she’d wanted to go in because she knew some of her classmates hung around there).

For once in her life, Pete doesn’t seem entirely sure of what to say and Ashley finds herself secretly delighted to see the whirlwind finally die down.

“You know, if you teach me how to play guitar-“ Pete suddenly stops and produces a journal from somewhere within her coat, writes something quickly and then continues, “If you teach me how to play guitar, we could definitely be in a band. We’ll be bigger than The Smiths!”

Ashley doesn’t dare destroy Pete’s dreams, though she’s certain she could do it with one sentence or less. She merely nods and takes the little leather-bound journal, only managing to decipher the words “teach me how to play guitar, smoke like a superstar” before Pete snatches it back.

“Song ideas,” Pete says in a sing-song voice and leaves it at that.

-

After Pete returns home to her daily life in Bedworth, a steady stream of letters start arriving, most of them addressed to Ashley. Amy-Jo gets one page letters, Ashley gets entire novels. Sometimes, when she doesn’t even have the energy to get out of bed, the letters serve as a physical reminder that someone cares, even if they’re nothing but Pete’s latest fantasies about their “ _soon to be world famous_ ” band.

Ashley isn’t entirely sure when she starts believing but the next time Pete visits, they actually sit down to write a song. Pete smiles at her every time her fingers falter on the guitar strings and Ashley thinks she might be one step closer to understanding _Arcadia_.

**Author's Note:**

> \- title from lady stardust by bowie  
> \- most of ashley's musings abt uni are straight from carl's memoir  
> \- “teach me how to play guitar, smoke like a superstar” is from the can't stand me now demo
> 
> hope you all enjoyed it! x


End file.
